Mark Scheme

Section A — Directed Writing and Reading (40 marks)

Question 1(a) — Notes for talk [25 marks]

Content (15 marks)

Award marks for coverage of the four bullet points:

Bullet 1: Explain the current situation on Matura Island

• Small island, 3,000 residents, 200 km from mainland
• Largely undeveloped/untouched
• High unemployment (35%)
• Young people leaving for work
• Rich biodiversity/marine life/rare birds
• Reliant on fishing and small-scale tourism
• Limited infrastructure

Award up to 4 marks for this section.

Bullet 2: Outline arguments in favour of development

• Will create hundreds of jobs (construction, hospitality, services)
• Improved infrastructure
• Millions of dollars for local economy
• Opportunities for young people to stay on island
• Government support/investment
• Future prosperity for residents

Award up to 4 marks for this section.

Bullet 3: Describe concerns raised by opponents

• Damage to coral reefs and marine ecosystems
• Disturbance to nesting sea turtles
• Threat to rare bird species/airport in sanctuary
• Loss of fishing grounds
• Impact on small local businesses
• Water supply concerns/inadequate infrastructure
• Waste management problems (no sewage treatment)
• Weak enforcement of environmental regulations
• Loss of traditional way of life

Award up to 4 marks for this section.

Bullet 4: Evaluate whether development should go ahead

• Weighing economic benefits against environmental costs
• Consideration of both perspectives
• Reference to sustainability/long-term thinking
• Possible compromises or alternatives
• Personal judgment with justification

Award up to 3 marks for this section.

Quality of Writing (10 marks)

Use the marking criteria below:

Band 1 (9-10 marks):

• Consistently appropriate register for notes format
• Very well organised and clearly expressed
• Sentences are fluent and varied in structure
• Virtually no errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar
• Vocabulary is wide-ranging and ambitious
• Paragraphing is accurate and effective

Band 2 (7-8 marks):

• Mostly appropriate register
• Generally well organised and clear
• Sentences show variety and are generally accurate
• Occasional errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar do not impede meaning
• Vocabulary is adequate and sometimes ambitious
• Paragraphing is mostly accurate

Band 3 (5-6 marks):

• Reasonably appropriate register
• Some organisation, reasonably clear
• Sentences are mostly correctly structured
• Some errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar but meaning is still clear
• Vocabulary is adequate for the task
• Some attempt at paragraphing

Band 4 (3-4 marks):

• Variable register, not always appropriate
• Limited organisation
• Sentences are simple and sometimes awkwardly constructed
• Frequent errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar sometimes obscure meaning
• Vocabulary is limited and repetitive
• Paragraphing is weak or absent

Band 5 (1-2 marks):

• Little awareness of appropriate register
• Very limited organisation
• Sentence structures are weak and often inaccurate
• Persistent errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar obscure meaning
• Vocabulary is very limited
• No effective paragraphing

Band 6 (0 marks):

• Extremely poor or no response

Question 1(b) — Article [15 marks]

Content (10 marks)

Award marks based on how well the candidate:

• Adopts appropriate article format and style
• Creates a convincing account of the island five years later
• Describes changes (positive and/or negative)
• Provides impressions and evaluative comment
• Offers advice to visitors
• Shows imagination and engagement with the task

Band 1 (9-10 marks):

• Highly engaging and convincing article
• Strong sense of development project's impact
• Detailed and vivid descriptions
• Clear evaluation of success/failure
• Practical and relevant visitor advice
• Consistently appropriate style and register

Band 2 (7-8 marks):

• Convincing article format
• Clear sense of changes to island
• Good descriptive detail
• Some evaluation present
• Relevant visitor advice
• Generally appropriate style

Band 3 (5-6 marks):

• Adequate article format
• Some sense of changes
• Limited descriptive detail
• Basic evaluation
• Some visitor advice
• Reasonably appropriate style

Band 4 (3-4 marks):

• Limited article format
• Vague sense of change
• Minimal description
• Little evaluation
• Limited advice
• Style not always appropriate

Band 5 (1-2 marks):

• Poor article format
• Very limited engagement with task
• Very limited description
• No real evaluation
• Little or no advice

Quality of Writing (5 marks)

Use the same criteria as Question 1(a) but adjust mark bands proportionally:

• Band 1: 5 marks
• Band 2: 4 marks
• Band 3: 3 marks
• Band 4: 2 marks
• Band 5: 1 mark
• Band 6: 0 marks

Section B — Composition (40 marks)

Question 2 — All options [40 marks]

Mark using the following criteria:

Content and Structure (24 marks)

Level 6 (22-24 marks):

• Highly effective and engaging
• Well-defined and original ideas
• Consistent and appropriate register throughout
• Highly effective opening and developed conclusion
• Extensive and ambitious vocabulary
• Effective variety of structural features (for descriptive) OR compelling plot with strong characterisation (for narrative)

Level 5 (18-21 marks):

• Effective and engaging
• Clear and relevant ideas
• Appropriate register sustained
• Effective opening and suitable conclusion
• Wide-ranging vocabulary
• Variety of structural features (descriptive) OR well-developed plot and characters (narrative)

Level 4 (14-17 marks):

• Engages reader's interest
• Competent treatment of topic
• Generally appropriate register
• Satisfactory opening and conclusion
• Adequate vocabulary
• Some structural variety (descriptive) OR clear plot and some characterisation (narrative)

Level 3 (10-13 marks):

• Some interest
• Straightforward ideas, may be thin or unimaginative
• Register not always appropriate
• Basic opening and conclusion
• Simple vocabulary
• Limited structural variety (descriptive) OR simple plot, limited characterisation (narrative)

Level 2 (6-9 marks):

• Limited interest
• Few ideas, lacks development
• Register often inappropriate
• Weak opening/conclusion
• Limited vocabulary, often repetitive
• Very limited structural features (descriptive) OR very simple plot, little characterisation (narrative)

Level 1 (1-5 marks):

• Very limited response
• Very few ideas, very thin
• Inappropriate register
• No effective opening or conclusion
• Very limited vocabulary
• No structural variety (descriptive) OR incoherent plot (narrative)

Level 0 (0 marks):

• No creditable response

Style and Accuracy (16 marks)

Level 6 (15-16 marks):

• Fluent, varied sentences
• Virtually error-free spelling, punctuation, and grammar
• Sophisticated control of paragraphing
• Ambitious and precise vocabulary choices

Level 5 (12-14 marks):

• Well-constructed, varied sentences
• Very few errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar
• Effective paragraphing
• Accurate vocabulary choices

Level 4 (9-11 marks):

• Generally sound sentence structure with some variety
• Some errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar but do not impede communication
• Generally sound paragraphing
• Vocabulary generally accurate

Level 3 (6-8 marks):

• Simple, mostly correct sentence structures
• Frequent errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar but meaning remains clear
• Basic paragraphing
• Vocabulary mostly appropriate

Level 2 (3-5 marks):

• Sentence structures often faulty
• Persistent errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar sometimes obscure meaning
• Weak or absent paragraphing
• Vocabulary often imprecise

Level 1 (1-2 marks):

• Sentence structures mostly faulty
• Serious and persistent errors obscure meaning
• No effective paragraphing
• Very limited vocabulary

Level 0 (0 marks):

• No creditable response

Sample Answers with Examiner Commentary

Question 1(a) — Sample Answers

Grade A (high distinction) answer*

Notes for talk: "Should Matura Island be developed?"

Current Situation:

• Matura Island = remote location (200km from mainland), population only 3,000
• Pristine environment: crystal-clear waters, coral reefs, rare endemic bird species, nesting sea turtles
• Currently underdeveloped with very limited infrastructure
• Major economic problems: 35% unemployment rate
• Young people forced to leave island to find work elsewhere – brain drain
• Economy relies on small-scale fishing and limited tourism (e.g. family guesthouses)

Arguments FOR Development:

Economic benefits:

• Hundreds of new jobs: construction phase, then permanent positions in hospitality/services
• Will inject millions of dollars into local economy
• Improved infrastructure (airport, roads, utilities) benefits everyone
• Young people can build futures on island instead of migrating
• Local businessman Carlos Mendez supports – sees opportunity for his children

Social benefits:

• Better facilities for residents, not just tourists
• Connection to outside world via international airport
• Chance to modernise while preserving culture

Arguments AGAINST Development:

Environmental concerns:

• Dr Elena Reyes (15 years research) warns coral reefs are "incredibly fragile"
• Construction will devastate marine ecosystems
• Increased boat traffic disturbs nesting sea turtles – extinction risk
• Airport planned for protected bird sanctuary
• Species survived millions of years could be "wiped out in a single generation"

Infrastructure problems:

• Water supply inadequate – island relies on springs and rainwater
• No sewage treatment facility currently exists
• Waste management completely inadequate for massive tourism influx

Social/economic concerns:

• Small local businesses (like Maria Santos' guesthouse) will be driven out by large resorts
• Fishing grounds threatened by marina – traditional livelihoods destroyed
• Government's environmental enforcement record is poor
• Only 30% conservation zone promised – not enough?

My Evaluation:

This is an incredibly difficult decision. The economic arguments are compelling – 35% unemployment is unsustainable and the island does need development. However, I believe the development should NOT go ahead in its current form.

The environmental costs are simply too high. Once species are extinct, they're gone forever. The infrastructure concerns are also serious – rushing ahead without adequate water supply and sewage treatment is a recipe for disaster.

Alternative approach:

• Smaller-scale, sustainable eco-tourism instead of mega-resorts
• Upgrade infrastructure first, then consider careful development
• Larger conservation zones with proper enforcement
• Support local businesses rather than international hotel chains
• Learn from mistakes made in other developments

The island needs economic development but not at the expense of destroying the very environment that makes it special. A middle path is possible if there's political will to find it.

Mark: 25/25

Examiner Commentary: This is an exemplary response demonstrating comprehensive coverage of all four content bullets with sophisticated detail. The candidate shows excellent understanding of the source material, selecting and deploying evidence effectively (e.g., specific references to Dr Reyes' fifteen-year research, the 35% unemployment figure, and named residents). The evaluation is particularly strong, moving beyond simple summary to offer a nuanced judgment with a practical alternative approach. The register is consistently appropriate for notes format (bullet points, abbreviated phrases, clear headings), while the writing remains articulate and precise. Vocabulary is ambitious ("brain drain," "endemic," "recipe for disaster") and there are virtually no errors in spelling, punctuation, or grammar. Organisation is exemplary with clear structural signposting.

Grade C (pass) answer

Notes for Geography Club Talk

What is happening on Matura Island:

Matura Island is a small island with 3,000 people living there. It is 200 kilometres away from the mainland. The island is very beautiful with white sand beaches and clear water. There are special birds and sea turtles there. But there is a problem because 35% of people don't have jobs. Young people have to leave the island to find work. The government wants to build luxury hotels, an airport and a marina for cruise ships.

Why some people want the development:

Some people think the development is a good idea. Carlos Mendez is a fisherman and he wants his children to have a future on the island. The development will create hundreds of jobs in construction and hotels and other services. It will bring millions of dollars to the island. The infrastructure will be better. People will have more opportunities and won't have to leave.

Why some people don't want it:

Other people are worried about the development. Dr Elena Reyes is a marine biologist who has studied the island for 15 years. She says the coral reefs are fragile and the construction will damage them. The boats will disturb the sea turtles when they are nesting. Maria Santos runs a small guesthouse and she thinks the big hotels will take all the business. The fishermen won't be able to fish where the marina is built.

There are also problems with the water supply because the island only has springs and rainwater. There is no sewage treatment plant. The airport will be built where the birds live. Environmental groups say the government doesn't enforce environmental laws properly in other places.

Should it go ahead?

This is a difficult question. The island needs jobs and money because 35% unemployment is really bad. But the environment is also important. If the coral reefs and sea turtles are destroyed they can't come back. I think maybe they should do a smaller development that doesn't damage the environment so much. They could do eco-tourism instead of big hotels. The government promised 30% would be conservation zone but I'm not sure if that's enough.

I think they should be very careful and make sure the water and sewage problems are sorted out first before they build anything.

Mark: 15/25 (Content: 9/15, Quality of Writing: 6/10)

Examiner Commentary: This is a solid mid-level response that covers all four content bullets but with less sophistication and detail than required for top marks. The candidate demonstrates clear understanding of the source material and includes relevant evidence (unemployment figures, named individuals, specific concerns), achieving a reasonable score for content. However, the response lacks the depth and development of higher-level answers – the evaluation is somewhat superficial and doesn't fully weigh the competing arguments. The writing is clear and meaning is never in doubt, but the register is not fully appropriate for notes format (too much continuous prose, insufficient use of abbreviations or bullet-point structure). Vocabulary is adequate but rarely ambitious ("really bad" rather than "unsustainable," "sorted out" rather than more precise terminology). Paragraphing is present but mechanical. Some sentence structures are repetitive. Overall, this demonstrates competent understanding and expression but lacks the sophistication and technical accuracy required for higher bands.

Grade E (near miss) answer

Notes about Matura Island

Matura Island is a island that has lots of problems. The government wants to build some hotels and airport there. Some people like it and some people don't like it.

The island is quite small and doesn't have many people. About 3,000 people live there. It's got nice beaches and animals. Lots of people don't have jobs so they have to leave. This is sad for the families.

The good things about building the hotels is that it will make jobs for people. Carlos Mendez wants it because he has children. There will be construction jobs and hotel jobs. The island will get money from the tourists. They will build a airport so people can visit easier.

The bad things are that it might hurt the environment. There is a scientist called Dr Reyes who says it will damage the coral reefs. The turtles might be disturbed. Maria Santos has a guesthouse and she is worried her business will be affected. The big hotels will take all the customers. There isn't enough water on the island for all the tourists. They haven't got a sewage treatment so that will be a problem. The birds might lose there habitat.

I think it is good and bad. The island needs money and jobs but they should be careful about the environment. Maybe they could do it but protect some areas. It's hard to say what the right answer is because both sides have good points.

The government should think carefully before making there decision.

Mark: 8/25 (Content: 5/15, Quality of Writing: 3/10)

Examiner Commentary: This response demonstrates basic understanding of the task but lacks the development and accuracy required for a pass. The candidate identifies some key points from the source material (unemployment, competing perspectives, specific individuals, environmental concerns) but presents them in a thin, list-like manner without elaboration or evidence. The evaluation is particularly weak, offering only vague generalisations rather than weighing arguments. The register is inappropriate for notes format, reading more like a loose essay draft. There are frequent errors that sometimes impede clarity ("there habitat" for "their habitat," "a airport," "a island"), though meaning usually remains discernible. Vocabulary is limited and repetitive ("good things," "bad things"), and sentence structures are simple and often awkwardly constructed. Paragraphing is present but not purposeful. To reach the next band, the candidate would need to develop points with specific evidence, improve technical accuracy (especially spelling and grammar), use more sophisticated vocabulary, and adopt a more appropriate register for notes format.

Question 2(a)(ii) — Sample Answers

Grade A (high distinction) answer*

The Abandoned House

Silence hangs over the house like a shroud. Where once laughter rippled through sunlit rooms and footsteps echoed on polished floorboards, now only dust motes dance in shafts of pale light that penetrate the grimy windows. The building seems to crouch at the end of the overgrown lane, its dark windows watching like hollow eyes, its sagging roof giving it the appearance of something wounded and weary.

I approach the front door – or what remains of it. The wood has warped and splintered with age, the paint peeling away in long, melancholic strips that curl like dried leaves. When I push it open, the hinges shriek in protest, a sound so piercing in the profound stillness that a cloud of starlings erupts from the chimney in panic, their wings beating frantically against the grey October sky.

Inside, the hallway stretches before me, narrower than it should be, the walls seeming to lean inward as if sharing secrets. The wallpaper, once surely a cheerful floral pattern, has faded to something indeterminate and ghostly, stained with creeping damp that spreads across it like maps of forgotten countries. Beneath my feet, the floorboards groan and shift, treacherous with rot. I step carefully, aware of the emptiness beneath.

To my left, the drawing room beckons. A stone fireplace dominates one wall, its mantelpiece still bearing the pale rectangles where photographs once stood. I try to imagine the faces that smiled from those frames – a family gathering, children growing taller with each year, anniversaries celebrated. Now there is only absence. In the corner, an armchair sits alone, its upholstery torn and bleeding stuffing, springs protruding like broken ribs. Someone once sat there, perhaps reading the evening paper or watching the fire crackle. The thought brings an unexpected sadness.

The stairs rise steeply into darkness. I climb them slowly, each step releasing whispers of protest. At the top, a landing branches into three rooms. I choose the largest – clearly the master bedroom. Here the dereliction is most poignant. A rusted bedframe stands against the far wall, stripped of its mattress, skeletal and stark. The wardrobes gape open, empty except for a single wire coat hanger that sways gently in the draught that moans through the broken window pane. On the windowsill, inexplicably, sits a child's toy – a small wooden horse, its painted surface worn smooth by devoted hands. How it has survived here, forgotten and alone, is a mystery that tightens my throat.

Outside that window, the garden has transformed into wilderness. What were once neat flower beds are now jungles of bramble and nettle. A washing line still stretches between two posts, though it hangs in a defeated curve, empty of everything but the weight of years. At the garden's end, an apple tree persists, gnarled and ancient, still producing fruit that falls unpicked into the long grass. Nature is patient. It waits for all our structures to crumble, ready to reclaim everything we build.

As I descend the stairs and step back into the autumn afternoon, I glance back at the house. It seems smaller somehow, less threatening in the daylight. But there is a profound melancholy to it – not the house itself, but what it represents. Lives were lived here, mundane and precious. Breakfasts were eaten, arguments were had, children learned to walk on these floors, someone took their last breath in one of these rooms. And now it stands empty, slowly surrendering to time, its stories evaporating into the silence like morning mist.

I walk away, but the image of that wooden horse on the windowsill haunts me. Someone loved it once. Someone small hands clutched it nightly. And now it waits in an empty room, in an abandoned house, for a child who will never return.

Mark: 40/40 (Content and Structure: 24/24, Style and Accuracy: 16/16)

Examiner Commentary: This is an outstanding piece of descriptive writing that fully deserves maximum marks. The content is highly effective and engaging throughout, with original and evocative imagery ("silence hangs over the house like a shroud," "wallpaper...stained with creeping damp that spreads across it like maps of forgotten countries"). The structure is sophisticated, moving logically through the house from exterior to interior, downstairs to upstairs, before returning outside, creating a satisfying circular composition. The opening and conclusion are particularly powerful, with the wooden horse providing a poignant leitmotif. The vocabulary is extensive and ambitious ("melancholic," "treacherous with rot," "dereliction," "leitmotif"), and there is effective variety of structural features including powerful use of metaphor, personification, and appeals to multiple senses. The register is consistently appropriate and sustained throughout. The style is fluent with sophisticated sentence variety, and the piece is virtually error-free in spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Paragraphing is accurate and highly effective. This candidate demonstrates complete mastery of descriptive writing at IGCSE level.

Grade C (pass) answer

The Abandoned House

The old house at the end of my street has been empty for as long as I can remember. No one lives there anymore and it looks very run down and creepy. I decided to go and have a look inside one day to see what it was like.

From the outside the house looks quite scary. The paint is peeling off the walls and some of the windows are broken. There are tiles missing from the roof and the garden is completely overgrown with weeds and bushes everywhere. The front gate is hanging off its hinges and creaks when you push it. The whole place looks like something from a horror film.

When I pushed open the front door it was very dark inside. I could see dust floating in the air where the sunlight came through the windows. The hallway was long and narrow with old wallpaper hanging off the walls. The floor was covered in dirt and leaves that had blown in through the gaps. It smelled damp and musty. There were cobwebs hanging from the ceiling with big spiders in them.

I went into the living room and it was empty except for an old sofa that was all torn up. You could see the springs sticking out of it. There was a fireplace that was full of old ash and soot. The walls had dark patches on them from the damp. It must have been a nice room once but now it just looked sad and depressing.

Then I went upstairs to see the bedrooms. The stairs were quite creaky and I was worried they might break. Upstairs there were three bedrooms. The biggest one had an old bed frame in it but no mattress. The wallpaper was green and mouldy. There was a broken mirror on the wall that was all cracked. Out of the window I could see the back garden which was even more overgrown than the front.

In one of the smaller bedrooms there was some old furniture like a chest of drawers and a wardrobe. The wardrobe door was open and it was empty inside. There was a strange feeling in the house like someone was watching you even though you knew no one was there. It was quite spooky.

The bathroom was in a terrible state. The bath was rusty and dirty and there was a crack in the sink. The toilet didn't have a seat anymore. Everything looked like it hadn't been used for many years.

When I went back downstairs and outside I was glad to be back in the fresh air. The house was interesting to explore but also quite depressing because you could tell that people used to live there and now it was just rotting away. I wondered what happened to the family who lived there and why they left.

As I walked back down the street I looked back at the house and thought it was sad that it was just left to fall apart. Maybe one day someone will buy it and fix it up but until then it will just stay abandoned and empty.

Mark: 23/40 (Content and Structure: 14/24, Style and Accuracy: 9/16)

Examiner Commentary: This response demonstrates competent engagement with the task and achieves a solid pass mark. The content is relevant and the candidate maintains focus on describing the abandoned house throughout. There is a clear structure (exterior, downstairs, upstairs, bathroom, conclusion) and both opening and conclusion are satisfactory if not particularly engaging. The candidate makes some effective descriptive choices ("dust floating in the air," "cobwebs hanging from the ceiling," "green and mouldy wallpaper") though these are often undermined by less precise vocabulary ("very run down and creepy," "quite scary," "sad and depressing"). Sentence structures are generally sound with some variety, though the writing occasionally becomes pedestrian ("Then I went upstairs," "I went into"). There are relatively few errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar, and meaning is always clear. However, the writing lacks the sophistication, originality, and ambition required for higher marks – the descriptions are sometimes clichéd (horror film, spooky feeling of being watched), and there is limited use of imagery, metaphor, or sensory detail beyond the visual. To reach a higher grade, this candidate would need to employ more ambitious vocabulary, vary sentence structures more deliberately, develop original imagery, and engage multiple senses more effectively.

Grade E (near miss) answer

The Abandoned House

There is a house near where I live that is abandoned. No one has lived in it for a long time. It looks old and broken. I went to look at it.

The house is at the end of the road. It is very old and dirty. The windows are broken and the door doesn't close properly. The garden has lots of weeds in it and the grass is very long. You can tell no one has looked after it for ages. It looks really creepy especially at night time.

I decided to go inside to see what it was like. When I opened the door it was really dark and dusty. There was rubbish on the floor and it smelled bad. The walls were dirty and had holes in them. I think there might be rats living there because I heard some noises.

In the living room there was a old sofa and some other furniture that was all broken. Everything was covered in dust. The windows were so dirty you could hardly see out of them. There was a fireplace but it was full of rubbish. The room was very messy and dirty.

I went upstairs and looked in the bedrooms. They were empty and dirty like downstairs. One bedroom had a bed in it that was all rusty. The walls had damp on them and the ceiling was stained. The bathroom was also in bad condition with a broken toilet and sink.

The house was very quiet and a bit scary. I kept thinking I heard noises but there was no one there. It made me feel uncomfortable being in there. I was worried the floor might break because some of the boards were loose.

After looking around I left the house. It was interesting to see inside but I wouldn't want to go back there. Its quite sad that the house is just left to rot away. I wonder why someone doesn't do it up and live in it. It must have been nice once but now its just a mess.

The abandoned house is very old and falling apart. It would cost a lot of money to fix it up. Until someone does something with it it will just get worse and worse. That's all I have to say about the abandoned house.

Mark: 15/40 (Content and Structure: 9/24, Style and Accuracy: 6/16)

Examiner Commentary: This response demonstrates basic engagement with the task but lacks the development, technical accuracy, and sophistication required for a secure pass. The candidate maintains focus on the topic and includes some relevant descriptive detail (broken windows, dusty interior, rusty bed, damp walls), achieving marks in Level 3 for content. However, the description is thin and relies heavily on simple observations ("old and broken," "dirty," "messy") rather than developed imagery or sensory detail beyond basic visual description. The structure is mechanical and predictable (exterior, downstairs, upstairs, conclusion) without any genuine structural sophistication. The opening and conclusion are particularly weak, with the final paragraph merely restating the obvious rather than providing reflection or impact. Vocabulary is limited and highly repetitive ("dirty" appears eight times, "old" six times), and there is frequent use of colloquial or imprecise language ("really creepy," "really dark," "a old sofa," "do it up"). Sentence structures are predominantly simple and often awkwardly constructed ("It looks really creepy especially at night time," "I think there might be rats living there because I heard some noises"). There are persistent errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar ("its" for "it's," "a old," inconsistent tense use) that sometimes obscure meaning. To improve, this candidate needs to develop descriptive passages with specific detail and imagery, employ more varied and sophisticated vocabulary, construct more complex sentences accurately, and improve technical accuracy throughout. The writing needs to move beyond superficial observation to create atmosphere and engage the reader's imagination.