Mark Scheme

Section A — Reading

Question 1 (4 marks)

Award 1 mark for each point identified, up to a maximum of 4 marks.

Acceptable answers include:

• She is sixteen years old
• Her mother has died (recently / three weeks ago)
• She has just arrived in Scotland / at her grandmother's house
• She has travelled from the city / by plane and taxi
• Her father is upset / shaking / devastated
• She hasn't been hungry since her mother died
• She didn't know about the photographs her mother kept
• She looks like her mother
• She has her mother's chin and hands
• Everyone says she looks like her mother
• She hadn't met her grandmother recently / doesn't know her well
• She is staying with her grandmother
• Her grandmother wasn't invited to the funeral / didn't attend the funeral

Accept: reasonable paraphrases of any of the above.

Do not accept: direct quotations without explanation OR inferences about character (e.g. "she is sad") unless clearly evidenced by factual information in the text.

Question 2 (8 marks)

This question assesses AO2: Explain, comment on and analyse how writers use language and structure to achieve effects and influence readers, using relevant subject terminology to support their views.

Level 4 (7–8 marks):

• Perceptive, detailed analysis of language and its effects
• Judicious use of subject terminology
• Develops a convincing, critical response to the language used

Level 3 (5–6 marks):

• Clear explanation of writers' use of language and its effects
• Clear use of subject terminology
• Selects relevant textual references

Level 2 (3–4 marks):

• Some comment on writers' use of language and/or its effects
• Some use of subject terminology (may not always be relevant)
• Some relevant textual references

Level 1 (1–2 marks):

• Simple awareness of language
• Reference to subject terminology may be limited or absent
• Simple textual references

0 marks: Nothing worthy of credit

Indicative content:

Candidates may refer to some of the following points:

Words and phrases:

• Personification: "coughed", "hunched", "trying to disappear" — creates sense of decay, unwelcoming atmosphere
• Negative semantic field: "grey stone, grey sky", "grey" repeated — emphasizes bleakness, depression, lifelessness
• Vague, uncertain language: "wasn't really a track at all", "more a suggestion" — conveys remoteness, isolation, lack of clear path forward (could be symbolic)
• "pressed into moss and heather" — suggests abandonment, rarely used, forgotten place

Language techniques:

• Repetition of "grey" — monotonous, oppressive, draining of colour/life/hope
• Short sentence: "Grey stone, grey sky" — mirrors the starkness of the landscape
• Fragment: "Even the light felt grey" — emphasizes how pervasive the bleakness is
• Simile: "as though it was trying to disappear" — cottage seems unwelcoming, wants to hide, perhaps reflecting grandmother's relationship with family
• Pathetic fallacy — landscape reflects Maya's emotional state (grief, uncertainty)

Effects:

• Creates an unwelcoming, depressing atmosphere
• Reflects Maya's emotional state / grief
• Suggests this journey is difficult / uncertain
• Foreshadows difficult relationship with grandmother
• Emphasizes isolation and remoteness
• Creates Gothic atmosphere / sense of foreboding

Accept: other valid examples with clear explanation of effect.

Question 3 (8 marks)

This question assesses AO2: Explain, comment on and analyse how writers use language and structure to achieve effects and influence readers, using relevant subject terminology to support their views.

Use the same level descriptors as Question 2, applied to structural features.

Indicative content:

Candidates may refer to some of the following structural features:

At the beginning:

• Opens with arrival — immediately establishes setting and situation
• Focus on external setting (taxi, track, cottage) — reader sees through Maya's eyes
• Sensory details establish atmosphere before character introduction
• Short, fragmented sentences create uncertainty
• Dialogue with taxi driver establishes Maya's isolation when he leaves

Development of focus:

• Shift from external (landscape) to internal (Maya's memories of father, mother's death)
• Introduction of grandmother — shift from setting to relationship/conflict
• Movement from outside to inside cottage — mirrors Maya's reluctant entry into this new life
• Temporal shift — flashback to "three weeks" ago, the morning mother died
• Moves from description to dialogue — increases tension

Other structural features:

• Cyclical structure — begins and ends with references to the landscape/weather
• Zoom technique — broad landscape, then cottage, then door, then interior, then table
• Building tension through short exchanges of dialogue
• Withheld information — "that terrible animal sound", the reason grandmother wasn't invited
• Foreshadowing at the end — "storm was gathering... would change everything"
• Use of single-line paragraphs for emphasis (e.g. "This is it, love")
• Contrast between long descriptive passages and short dialogue
• Present tense narrative maintains immediacy

Effects:

• Creates sense of inevitability — Maya has no choice but to go forward
• Gradually reveals character relationships and backstory
• Maintains reader interest through withholding information
• Builds tension towards climax
• Creates claustrophobic atmosphere as setting becomes smaller/more confined

Question 4 (20 marks)

This question assesses AO4: Evaluate texts critically and support this with appropriate textual references.

Level 4 (16–20 marks):

• Critical, exploratory, conceptualised response to task and text
• Judicious use of precise references to support interpretation(s)
• Thoughtful consideration of different interpretations / convincing evaluation of writer's technique

Level 3 (11–15 marks):

• Clear, explained response to task and text
• Appropriate use of references to support interpretation(s)
• Reasoned consideration of different interpretations / clear evaluation of writer's technique

Level 2 (6–10 marks):

• Supported response to task and text
• Some use of references to support interpretation(s)
• Some consideration of different interpretations / some evaluation

Level 1 (1–5 marks):

• Simple, limited response to task and text
• References may be limited
• Simple comment without development

0 marks: Nothing worthy of credit

Indicative content:

Candidates are free to agree or disagree with the statement. Responses might consider:

Evidence of tension/awkwardness:

• Sparse, functional dialogue — grandmother's first words: "Your room's upstairs. Second door" — no warmth, no welcome
• Lack of physical help or comfort — "She didn't offer to help with the case"
• Watching Maya eat — creates uncomfortable, scrutinizing atmosphere
• Delayed speech — "she said finally" — long, awkward silence
• Maya's physical response — puts spoon down when grandmother mentions mother
• Short, defensive replies from Maya: "I don't have a temper"
• Repeated, firm statement: "I wasn't invited" — grandmother shuts down conversation
• "iron in her voice" — harshness, anger barely controlled

Evidence of difficult history:

• Grandmother "wasn't invited" to funeral — suggests estrangement from family
• Photographs mother kept "in the drawer she thought I didn't know about" — hidden, secret relationship
• "lives that had been lived in one place for too long" — suggests mother left, wanted to escape
• "I wondered what Mum had looked like at sixteen... felt this same desperate need to run" — implies mother also wanted to leave
• "strangers who shared a face" — emphasizes distance despite blood connection
• Comparison to mother creates tension — "You look like her", "You've got her chin"

Writer's techniques:

• Contrast between physical closeness (sitting opposite) and emotional distance
• Use of silence and pauses to create awkwardness
• Physical descriptions convey emotion — "hands... tightened slightly"
• Internal monologue reveals Maya's feelings — "it seemed easier than saying no"
• Metaphor of reflection in window — "two women... strangers who shared a face"
• Repetition — "I wasn't invited" — emphasizes grandmother's hurt/anger
• Pathetic fallacy — "storm was gathering" — mirrors emotional storm
• Cold setting despite fire — suggests emotional coldness cannot be warmed

Alternative interpretations:

• Some warmth present — grandmother offers soup, has prepared room
• Tension is natural grief rather than hostility
• Both trying to cope with shared loss
• Grandmother's curtness could be her way of coping
• "You look like her" could be affectionate rather than critical

Section B — Writing

Question 5 (40 marks total: 24 marks for content and organisation + 16 marks for technical accuracy)

Content and Organisation (AO5) — 24 marks

Level 6 (21–24 marks):

• Communication is convincing and compelling
• Tone, style and register assuredly matched to purpose and audience
• Extensive and ambitious vocabulary with sustained crafting of linguistic devices
• Varied and inventive use of structural features
• Writing is compelling, incorporating a range of convincing and complex ideas
• Fluently linked paragraphs with seamlessly integrated discourse markers

Level 5 (17–20 marks):

• Communication is consistently clear and effective
• Tone, style and register clearly matched to purpose and audience
• Increasingly sophisticated vocabulary and phrasing, chosen for effect with a range of linguistic devices
• Varied use of structural features
• Writing is engaging, with a range of developed complex ideas
• Consistently clear paragraphs with integrated discourse markers

Level 4 (13–16 marks):

• Communication is clear and effective
• Tone, style and register matched to purpose and audience
• Vocabulary clearly chosen for effect and linguistic devices used to enhance impact
• Structural features used effectively
• Ideas are developed and organised effectively
• Paragraphs used to make meaning clear with discourse markers to link ideas

Level 3 (9–12 marks):

• Communication is mostly clear
• Tone, style and register generally matched to purpose and audience
• Vocabulary appropriate with some linguistic devices
• Some use of structural features
• Ideas organised with some development
• Paragraphs used with some discourse markers

Level 2 (5–8 marks):

• Communication is sometimes clear
• Some awareness of matching tone, style and register to purpose and audience
• Vocabulary appropriate with occasional linguistic devices
• Some evidence of structural features
• Ideas evident with some development
• Paragraphs used, discourse markers limited

Level 1 (1–4 marks):

• Simple communication
• Limited awareness of purpose and audience
• Simple vocabulary and linguistic devices
• Limited use of structural features
• Simple ideas
• Limited paragraphing

0 marks: Nothing worthy of credit

Technical Accuracy (AO6) — 16 marks

Level 4 (13–16 marks):

• Sentence demarcation is consistently secure and accurate
• Wide range of punctuation used with high level of accuracy
• Uses a full range of appropriate sentence forms for effect
• Uses Standard English consistently and appropriately with secure control of complex grammatical structures
• High level of accuracy in spelling, including ambitious vocabulary
• Extensive and ambitious use of vocabulary

Level 3 (9–12 marks):

• Sentence demarcation is mostly secure and accurate
• Range of punctuation used, mostly accurately
• Uses a variety of sentence forms for effect
• Mostly uses Standard English appropriately with mostly controlled grammatical structures
• Generally accurate spelling, including complex and irregular words
• Increasingly sophisticated use of vocabulary

Level 2 (5–8 marks):

• Sentence demarcation is mostly secure
• Some range of punctuation used, sometimes accurately
• Attempts a variety of sentence forms
• Some use of Standard English with some control of agreement
• Some accurate spelling of more complex words
• Varied use of vocabulary

Level 1 (1–4 marks):

• Occasional use of sentence demarcation
• Some evidence of punctuation
• Simple range of sentence forms
• Occasional use of Standard English with limited control
• Accurate basic spelling
• Simple vocabulary

0 marks: Nothing worthy of credit

Sample Answers with Examiner Commentary

Question 4 — Sample Answers

Grade 9 answer

I strongly agree with the student's view that the writer creates a palpable sense of tension and awkwardness, whilst also revealing layers of difficult family history that remain unspoken but powerfully present.

From the outset of this section, the grandmother's coldness is evident in her functional, unwelcoming dialogue. "Your room's upstairs. Second door" is blunt and provides no warmth or comfort to a grieving teenager who has just lost her mother. The writer deliberately omits any terms of endearment or sympathetic acknowledgment of Maya's situation, immediately establishing emotional distance. Furthermore, the detail that the grandmother "didn't offer to help with the case" speaks volumes about her character and their relationship — even the most basic gesture of practical help is withheld, suggesting either inability or unwillingness to show care.

The writer expertly uses physical action to convey suppressed emotion and create tension. When the grandmother says "You look like her," Maya's response is visceral: "I put the spoon down." This simple action demonstrates how painful the comparison is, and the writer uses it to punctuate the conversation, literally stopping Maya's action mid-task. The most powerful moment of tension comes with Maya's question "Why didn't you come?" and the grandmother's response. The repetition of "I wasn't invited" — stated twice with increasing firmness — reveals deep hurt and anger that has clearly festered for years. The second iteration includes "iron in her voice," connecting to the earlier description of her "iron grey" hair and suggesting a hardness that has developed over time. This is a woman who will not be pushed, who holds grudges, and who is still wounded by whatever rift divided this family.

The setting amplifies the emotional coldness. Despite it being August, there is a fire burning, yet the kitchen is still described as "stone-flagged and cold." This paradox suggests that no amount of physical warmth can thaw the emotional frigidity between them. The writer's use of the window reflection — "two women at a table, strangers who shared a face" — is particularly effective in crystallising the central tension: they are bound by blood and physical resemblance, yet are complete strangers, divided by a history that involved Maya's mother leaving this place. The phrase "desperate need to run" suggests the mother escaped from something oppressive here, perhaps this very relationship, and now Maya is trapped in the situation her mother fled.

However, I would also argue that beneath the tension, there are glimpses of the grandmother's vulnerability and even attempted connection. She has prepared soup and bread — homemade, suggesting effort and care, even if she cannot express it verbally. She notices Maya looks like her daughter and comments on specific features: "her chin. Her hands." This close observation could be read as painful recognition, an attempt to find her lost daughter in her granddaughter's face. The act of watching Maya eat, though uncomfortable, might also be interpreted as a starved desire to know this girl, to simply be in her presence. The grandmother's curtness might be a defence mechanism against her own grief and rejection — she was "not invited" to her own daughter's funeral, a devastating exclusion that would naturally create barriers to opening her heart to that daughter's child.

The final line is masterful in its foreshadowing: "somewhere up in the mountains a storm was gathering that would break before morning and change everything." The pathetic fallacy is obvious but effective — the literal storm mirrors the emotional storm brewing between these two women. The phrase "change everything" suggests that this tension cannot continue indefinitely; something must break, whether that be a breakthrough in their relationship or a complete rupture. The writer leaves us on this knife-edge, having expertly constructed a scene dense with unspoken history, suppressed emotion, and the collision between grief, guilt and grudges that span generations.

Mark: 20/20

Examiner commentary: This is a perceptive, sophisticated response that demonstrates critical engagement with the text. The candidate explores multiple layers of meaning, considers alternative interpretations, and supports every point with precise textual reference. The response is conceptualised (discussing how family relationships work over generations) and uses subject terminology accurately ("pathetic fallacy," "visceral," "punctuate"). The evaluation of writer's methods is thorough and convincing, examining dialogue, action, setting, and symbolism. This is a confident Grade 9 response.

Grade 6 answer

I agree with the student that the writer does create tension and awkwardness between Maya and her grandmother, and shows that there is a difficult history in the family.

The tension is clear from the way they speak to each other. When Maya arrives, her grandmother just says "Your room's upstairs. Second door" which is very unwelcoming and cold. She doesn't help Maya with her bag or give her a hug, even though Maya's mother has just died and she must be feeling terrible. This shows they don't have a close relationship and creates awkwardness. The grandmother also watches Maya eat, which would make anyone feel uncomfortable and awkward. It's like she's judging her or doesn't trust her.

The conversation about Maya looking like her mother is very tense. Maya puts her spoon down when the grandmother says "You look like her," which shows she doesn't like being compared to her mother. Maybe it's too painful because she's just died. The grandmother says "You've got her chin. Her hands. Her temper, I expect" and when Maya says "I don't have a temper" the grandmother replies "That's what she used to say." This shows that the grandmother thinks Maya is just like her mother, which creates tension because they obviously didn't get on.

There is definitely a difficult history in the family. We find out that the grandmother wasn't invited to the funeral when Maya asks "Why didn't you come?" The grandmother says "I wasn't invited" twice, and the second time she says it with "iron in her voice" which shows she's angry about it. This must mean there was a big falling out in the family, probably between the grandmother and Maya's mother, and it was so bad that the grandmother wasn't allowed at the funeral. This is very sad and shows how damaged their family relationships are.

The writer also describes them as "strangers who shared a face" in the reflection in the window. This is a good way of showing that even though they're related and look alike, they don't actually know each other. Maya wonders if her mother "felt this same desperate need to run" when she was sixteen, which suggests her mother left home and maybe didn't come back much, which would explain why they don't know each other and why there's tension.

The setting also helps create tension. The kitchen is "cold" even though there's a range, which could symbolise how cold their relationship is. The storm at the end "gathering that would break before morning and change everything" is pathetic fallacy that shows the tension between them is building up and something is going to happen.

Overall, I think the writer does a good job of showing the tension and awkwardness through what the characters say and do, and through hints about the difficult past.

Mark: 13/20

Examiner commentary: This is a clear, explained response that engages with the task and supports points with appropriate textual references. The candidate identifies relevant features (dialogue, actions, description) and explains how they create tension. However, the analysis sometimes lacks depth — for example, stating "this shows they don't have a close relationship" rather than exploring why the writer made these specific choices. The response would benefit from more sophisticated vocabulary and more developed exploration of alternative interpretations. Some technical terminology is used appropriately ("pathetic fallacy," "symbolise"). This is a solid Grade 6 response.

Grade 3 answer

I agree that there is tension between Maya and her grandmother because you can tell they don't like each other very much.

The grandmother is very mean to Maya. When Maya arrives she just tells her where her room is and doesn't even help her with her suitcase. She also makes her eat soup even though Maya says she isn't hungry, and then she watches her eat it which is weird and rude. If my grandmother did that I would feel very uncomfortable. The grandmother also says mean things like "You've got her temper" which is insulting to Maya.

Maya doesn't seem to like her grandmother either. She asks her why she didn't come to the funeral in a rude way, like she's accusing her of something. She also doesn't want to be compared to her mother because she puts her spoon down when the grandmother talks about it. This shows she is angry.

There is a difficult history because the grandmother didn't go to the funeral. This might be because she lives far away in Scotland and couldn't afford the travel, or maybe she was ill. But Maya seems to think she should have come so maybe there was an argument before. The text says the grandmother "wasn't invited" which means Maya's dad told her not to come. This would make anyone feel upset and angry.

The weather at the end shows there is tension because there is a storm coming. This is a metaphor for their relationship which is stormy. Storms are dangerous and scary which shows their relationship might get worse.

I think the writer shows the tension quite well by making the grandmother unfriendly and making Maya uncomfortable. The difficult history is about the funeral and them not seeing each other before. The whole extract is quite depressing because of the grey setting and the cold house and everyone being miserable about the mother dying.

Mark: 6/20

Examiner commentary: This response shows some engagement with the text and identifies some relevant points (grandmother's coldness, the funeral issue, the storm). However, the analysis is often superficial and sometimes misreads the text (the grandmother doesn't "make" Maya eat, and suggesting she couldn't afford travel or was ill contradicts the textual evidence). The response tends to describe what happens rather than evaluate how the writer creates effects. Vocabulary is simple and some statements are unsupported assertions ("mean," "weird," "rude"). The candidate needs to engage more closely with specific language and techniques, and explore ideas in greater depth rather than simply identifying features. To improve, this candidate should use more precise textual references and explain the effects of the writer's choices more fully.

Question 5(b) — Sample Answers

Grade 9 answer

The opening part of a story about a secret that should never have been kept

The letter arrived on a Tuesday, which seemed appropriate somehow. Tuesdays were in-between days, the kind of day when nothing important happened, when you could miss an entire Tuesday and the week would simply fold around its absence like water around a stone.

Except this Tuesday, everything changed.

I found it in the kitchen when I came down for breakfast, propped against the fruit bowl where Mum always left notes about dentist appointments or parent-teacher meetings. But this wasn't in her handwriting. The envelope was cream-coloured, expensive-looking, and my name — my full name, Eleanor Frances Ashworth — was written in fountain pen in careful, old-fashioned script. No one had called me Eleanor since my grandmother's funeral seven years ago. To everyone else, I'd always been Nell.

I should have left it. Should have called Mum, or Dad, or waited until they came back from the hospital where they'd been since four that morning when Jamie's temperature had spiked again. But I was seventeen, and curious, and tired of being protected from things. So I opened it.

Inside was a single sheet of paper, the same heavy cream as the envelope, and one photograph.

The photograph showed two girls, maybe thirteen or fourteen, sitting on a wall with their arms around each other's shoulders. They were laughing at something beyond the frame, their heads tipped together so their hair mingled — one dark, one fair. The dark-haired girl wore a denim jacket covered in badges. The fair one had a daisy chain around her neck.

I knew the dark-haired girl immediately. She was younger, smoother, but I'd seen that face every day of my life in the bathroom mirror: the same straight nose, the same wide-set grey eyes, the same small scar above the left eyebrow. It was my mother.

But I didn't recognise the other girl at all.

I turned to the letter, my hands suddenly unsteady.

Dear Eleanor,

You don't know me, but I knew your mother a long time ago. We were closer than sisters once. Best friends don't cover it — we were two parts of the same person, or at least we thought we were, until the summer everything fell apart.

I'm writing because I'm dying. Brain tumour, inoperable, six months if I'm lucky. And I've been thinking about secrets, about the weight of things left unsaid. Your mother and I made a promise the last time we spoke, twenty-five years ago this June. We promised we'd never tell anyone what happened that summer. We promised we'd take it to our graves.

But I'm almost at my grave, Eleanor, and I've realised that some secrets are too heavy to take with you. Some secrets grow teeth. They bite.

You need to know about Anna.

The name meant nothing to me. I read it again — Anna — letting it sit in my mouth, trying to find a memory that matched it. Nothing.

Anna was real, Eleanor. She existed. She was here and she was ours and then she was gone, and it was my fault, and your mother's silence, and we've carried her between us all these years like a ghost we couldn't bury properly.

The kitchen felt too bright suddenly, too ordinary. The clock still ticked above the cooker. The fridge still hummed. Outside, Mrs. Peterson's dog still barked at the postman, the same as it did every Tuesday. But something had cracked open, some door I hadn't known existed, and I could feel cold air seeping through from the other side.

I'm not asking for forgiveness. I'm past that now. But you deserve the truth, and Anna deserves to be remembered by someone other than the two people who failed her.

There's a box at my solicitor's office with your name on it. The address is at the bottom of this letter. In it, you'll find everything: photographs, diaries, letters we wrote but never sent. The whole story of that summer. The whole story of Anna.

I'm sorry, Eleanor. I'm sorry you have to carry this now. But your mother won't tell you — she's kept the secret too long, believed in it too much. And I can't take it with me. I just can't.

Someone has to remember.

The letter was signed with a single name: Catherine.

I stood in the kitchen for a long time, holding the photograph, staring at my mother's young, laughing face, at the arm around her shoulders belonging to a girl named Catherine who was dying and wanted me to know about someone called Anna. Someone real. Someone gone. Someone who had apparently been theirs.

A secret with teeth, she'd written.

I could feel them biting already.

When my parents' car pulled into the drive three hours later, I was still standing there, the letter in my hand, trying to decide whether some secrets should stay buried after all. Whether knowing the truth was always better than living in the safe, clean space of not-knowing.

But it was too late for that now.

I already knew there was a box with my name on it, and a girl called Anna who deserved to be remembered, and a summer twenty-five years ago when my mother had been someone I didn't recognise at all.

I folded the letter carefully, slipped it into my pocket, and went to meet them at the door. Smiling. Normal. As though nothing had changed.

As though I hadn't just learned that my entire family was built on a foundation of silence.

That would come later.

Mark: 38/40 (Content and Organisation: 23/24; Technical Accuracy: 15/16)

Examiner commentary: This is compelling, sophisticated writing that demonstrates assured control throughout. The narrative voice is distinctive and mature, with an impressive command of tone ("Tuesdays were in-between days" immediately establishes the reflective, literary style). Vocabulary is ambitious and precise ("water around a stone," "secrets grow teeth"). Structural features are used inventively — the discovered letter allows for dual narratives and gradual revelation of information. The central concept (inherited secrets) is complex and developed through layers of meaning. Paragraphing is fluid and discourse seamlessly integrated. Technical accuracy is very high, with only the most minor slips. Sentences are varied and controlled, punctuation sophisticated (correct use of em-dashes, semicolons). This demonstrates all the qualities of exceptional creative writing at GCSE level. A clear Grade 9.

Grade 6 answer

The opening part of a story about a secret that should never have been kept

I never meant to find out. Some things are better left buried, hidden away where they can't hurt anyone. But curiosity has always been my weakness, and that day it got the better of me.

It started when I went up to the attic to find my old football boots. Mum had said they were in one of the boxes up there from when we moved house. The attic was dusty and full of old furniture and boxes stacked up everywhere. I had to move loads of stuff to get to the sports equipment box.

That's when I found it. A small wooden box hidden behind an old mirror. It was locked but the key was taped to the bottom, which seemed strange. Why lock something and then leave the key right there? Unless you wanted to keep people out but couldn't quite bring yourself to throw away whatever was inside.

I shouldn't have opened it. I knew that even as I turned the key. But I did anyway.

Inside were letters. Dozens of them, tied up with string. They were addressed to my dad but the return address was somewhere in Manchester. I didn't recognise the name on them — Robert Chambers. The dates on the postmarks were from before I was born, from when Dad was about twenty.

I took one out and read it. I know I shouldn't have, it was private, but I couldn't help myself.

The letter talked about meetings they'd had and how much Robert missed my dad. It talked about secret phone calls and having to hide their relationship from everyone. It talked about love.

I felt sick. Not because of what the letter said exactly, but because I'd never heard Dad mention anyone called Robert. Mum had told me stories about how she and Dad met at university, how they'd been together since they were nineteen. But these letters were from when Dad was twenty-two, and they were definitely from someone he was in a relationship with.

Had Dad lied about meeting Mum? Or had something else happened?

I heard footsteps on the stairs. Dad was coming up.

Quickly, I shoved the letter back in the box and locked it, pushing it behind the mirror again. My heart was hammering. I grabbed the football boots and stood up just as Dad's head appeared through the attic hatch.

"Found them?" he asked, smiling.

"Yeah," I said, trying to keep my voice normal. "They were right where Mum said."

He looked at me for a long moment and I was terrified he could tell I'd found something. But then he just nodded and climbed back down the ladder.

I followed him, the football boots in my hand, the secret heavy in my mind.

That night at dinner I watched Dad talking to Mum, laughing at her jokes, passing her the salt. They seemed so normal, so happy. But I couldn't stop thinking about the letters, about Robert Chambers, about the secret that Dad had kept locked away in the attic for over twenty years.

Should I tell Mum? Should I confront Dad? Or should I pretend I'd never seen them?

Some secrets are kept for a reason. But some secrets are like poison, slowly spreading through a family until everything is infected.

I didn't know which kind this was yet.

But I had a horrible feeling I was about to find out.

Mark: 28/40 (Content and Organisation: 16/24; Technical Accuracy: 12/16)

Examiner commentary: This is a clear, competent narrative with a straightforward structure and an engaging premise. The story establishes the situation effectively and creates some tension around the discovered secret. However, the writing is sometimes predictable in its vocabulary and phrasing ("curiosity has always been my weakness," "I felt sick"). Structural features are present but not particularly varied — linear chronology with limited use of more sophisticated techniques. Some linguistic devices are attempted (the metaphor of secrets as poison) but could be more developed. Technical accuracy is generally secure with mostly correct sentence demarcation and punctuation, though there are some comma splices and the range of sentence forms could be more adventurous. Paragraphing is functional. This is a solid Grade 6 — competent storytelling that communicates clearly but lacks the sophistication and ambition of higher band responses.

Grade 3 answer

The opening part of a story about a secret that should never have been kept

My name is Tom and I have just found out a terrible secret about my family. It all started last week.

I was in my room doing homework when my mum called me downstairs. She said her and dad wanted to talk to me about something important. I went down to the living room and they both looked really serious.

"Tom, we have something to tell you," Mum said. She looked like she was going to cry.

Dad held her hand. "It's about your sister," he said.

I was confused because I don't have a sister. I'm an only child. I've always been an only child. "What sister?" I asked them.

That's when they told me. Before I was born, they had a daughter called Emily. She was two years old when she got very ill and died. They were so upset that they never told anyone about her, not even me. They pretended she never existed because it was too painful to talk about.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I had a sister who died and no one ever told me! I felt really angry and upset. "Why didn't you tell me?" I shouted. "She was my sister!"

Mum started crying properly then. "We wanted to protect you," she said. "We didn't want you to be sad about someone you never met."

But I thought that was wrong. Everyone should know about Emily. She was a real person who lived and died and deserved to be remembered. Keeping her a secret was like pretending she never mattered.

"I want to know about her," I told them. "I want to see pictures and hear stories. She was part of our family."

Dad nodded. "You're right," he said. "We should have told you before. We're sorry."

So that night they got out an old photo album that had been hidden in their wardrobe. It was full of pictures of a little girl with blonde curly hair. My sister Emily. In some of the pictures she was laughing and playing with toys. In others she was being cuddled by Mum and Dad who looked younger and happier.

Looking at the photos made me feel sad but also glad that I finally knew the truth. Secrets are bad because they stop people from knowing important things. My parents kept this secret for too long and now I feel like I've missed out on knowing about my sister, even though she died before I was born.

The next day I asked if we could visit Emily's grave. Mum and Dad agreed. We went to the cemetery and I saw her gravestone for the first time. It said "Emily Sarah Thompson, aged 2, forever in our hearts."

I put some flowers on the grave and said "Hello Emily. I'm your brother Tom. I'm sorry I didn't know about you before but I know now and I'll never forget you."

From that day on we talked about Emily more. Mum and Dad told me stories about her and we looked at photos together. It was still sad but it was better than keeping it all secret.

That's how I learned that some secrets should never be kept, even if they are painful.

Mark: 15/40 (Content and Organisation: 8/24; Technical Accuracy: 7/16)

Examiner commentary: This response demonstrates a simple narrative structure with a clear beginning and development of the "secret" premise. However, the writing lacks sophistication in several ways. The vocabulary is basic ("really serious," "very ill") and there is limited variety in sentence structure (many simple sentences beginning with "I" or "She/He said"). The narrative tells rather than shows — emotions are stated directly ("I felt really angry") rather than conveyed through description or action. The dialogue is functional but unrealistic in places. Paragraphing is present but sometimes inconsistent. Technical accuracy shows some control but there are issues with sentence demarcation (some comma splices), limited punctuation range, and errors in agreement ("Mum and Dad who looked younger"). The concept is also somewhat simplistic — the resolution comes very quickly and easily without real tension or complication. To improve, the candidate should focus on showing rather than telling, varying sentence structures, and developing ideas more fully rather than rushing to resolution. The writing would benefit from more attention to crafting language for effect.