Relationships and Families

What you'll learn

This topic examines religious and non-religious perspectives on relationships and families, focusing primarily on Christianity and Islam. You'll explore teachings about marriage, sexual relationships, family life, gender roles, divorce, and contraception. Understanding how religious beliefs influence attitudes to these issues is essential for answering evaluative questions effectively.

Key terms and definitions

Heterosexual — sexual attraction between people of opposite genders (male and female)

Homosexual — sexual attraction between people of the same gender

Cohabitation — living together in a sexual relationship without being married

Adultery — voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone who is not their spouse

Nuclear family — a family unit consisting of two parents and their children living together

Procreation — conceiving and having children

Annulment — a declaration that a marriage was never valid in the eyes of the Church

Chastity — abstaining from sexual activity, or restricting sexual activity to marriage

Core concepts

Christian and Muslim attitudes to sex and marriage

Both Christianity and Islam teach that sex should take place only within marriage, though denominations and individuals may hold different views.

Christian teachings:

• Marriage is a sacrament in Catholic and Orthodox Christianity, meaning it's a visible sign of God's grace
• The Bible states "a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24)
• Sex is a gift from God with two purposes: unitive (bringing the couple closer) and procreative (creating new life)
• Sex before marriage (fornication) is condemned: "Flee from sexual immorality" (1 Corinthians 6:18)
• Some liberal Christians accept sex in committed relationships outside marriage, arguing the quality of the relationship matters more than legal status
• Marriage vows include promises of faithfulness "till death us do part"

Muslim teachings:

• Marriage (nikah) is strongly encouraged but not obligatory; the Prophet Muhammad said "Marriage is half of faith"
• Sex outside marriage (zina) is forbidden and considered a major sin
• The Qur'an commands: "Do not go near adultery. It is an outrage and an evil path" (Surah 17:32)
• Marriage is a legal contract with specific rights and responsibilities for both partners
• Polygamy (up to four wives) is permitted for men if they can treat all wives equally and fairly

The nature and purpose of marriage

Religious traditions view marriage as more than a social contract; it has spiritual significance and specific purposes.

Christian purposes of marriage:

• Procreation and raising children in a Christian environment
• Companionship and mutual support
• A remedy against sin (avoiding sexual immorality)
• A reflection of Christ's love for the Church (Ephesians 5:25)

Muslim purposes of marriage:

• Procreation to continue the human race
• Companionship: "They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them" (Surah 2:187)
• Legalising sexual relations
• Providing a stable environment for children
• Fulfilling half of one's religious duties

Same-sex marriage:

• The Catholic Church and many evangelical Protestant churches oppose same-sex marriage, teaching that marriage is inherently between one man and one woman
• The Church of England does not conduct same-sex marriages but some clergy bless civil partnerships
• Liberal Christian denominations (e.g., Quakers, some Methodist and United Reformed churches) perform same-sex marriages, emphasising God's love for all people
• Islam prohibits homosexual relationships and same-sex marriage based on Qur'anic teachings and the story of Lot (Lut)

Family life and gender roles

Religious teachings provide guidance on family structure and the roles of men and women, though interpretations vary.

Christian perspectives:

• The family is the foundation of society and the first place children learn about faith
• The Fifth Commandment: "Honour your father and mother"
• Parents should bring up children "in the training and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4)
• Traditional interpretations suggest male headship: "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands" (Ephesians 5:22)
• Modern Christians often interpret this as mutual submission and partnership
• The Roman Catholic Church ordains only men as priests, while the Church of England has female bishops

Muslim perspectives:

• Parents have a duty to raise children as Muslims and teach them about Islam
• Children must respect and obey parents unless commanded to do something against Islamic teaching
• Men are considered protectors and maintainers of women (Surah 4:34)
• Women and men are spiritually equal before Allah but may have different roles
• Mothers have a special status: the Prophet said paradise lies at the feet of mothers
• Extended families are valued, with duties to care for elderly relatives

Divorce and remarriage

Both religions prefer marriages to be permanent but recognise that sometimes they fail.

Christian attitudes:

• Catholic Church does not permit divorce; marriage is indissoluble
• Catholics may separate or obtain civil divorce but cannot remarry while their spouse lives
• Annulment may be granted if the marriage was never valid (e.g., lack of consent, intention not to have children)
• Jesus said: "What God has joined together, let no one separate" (Mark 10:9)
• Protestant churches generally allow divorce as a concession to human weakness
• Most Protestant churches permit remarriage, especially if the person is the "innocent party"
• Orthodox churches permit divorce and remarriage in certain circumstances

Muslim attitudes:

• Divorce is permitted but discouraged: "Of all the things permitted, divorce is the most hated by Allah" (Hadith)
• Talaq: a man may divorce his wife by pronouncing divorce three times over three months, allowing time for reconciliation
• Women may request divorce (khul) through Islamic courts
• Remarriage is permitted after the iddah (waiting period of three menstrual cycles)
• Polygamy means a man may have up to four wives simultaneously

Contraception and family planning

Religious views on contraception relate to beliefs about the purposes of sex and marriage.

Christian views:

• Roman Catholic Church opposes artificial contraception, viewing it as separating sex from procreation
• Natural family planning (monitoring fertility cycles) is acceptable to Catholics
• Humanae Vitae (1968) reaffirmed the ban on artificial contraception
• Protestant churches generally accept contraception as responsible family planning
• Arguments for: allows couples to plan families, prevents poverty, protects women's health
• Arguments against: interferes with God's will, may encourage promiscuity

Muslim views:

• Contraception is generally permitted (makruh - discouraged but not forbidden) if both spouses agree
• Having children is important, but parents may space births to protect health or finances
• Permanent contraception (sterilisation) is generally forbidden as it prevents future procreation
• Emergency contraception and abortion are complex issues with varying scholarly opinions
• Most Muslims oppose abortion except when the mother's life is at risk

Sexual relationships outside marriage

Religious traditions distinguish between different types of sexual relationships outside marriage.

Pre-marital sex and cohabitation:

• Traditional Christianity and Islam forbid sex before marriage
• Increasing numbers of young Christians engage in pre-marital sex or cohabitation
• Some liberal Christians argue committed relationships embody Christian values even without marriage
• Muslims view sex before marriage as a major sin with serious consequences

Extra-marital sex (adultery):

• Condemned by both religions as a serious sin
• The Seventh Commandment: "You shall not commit adultery"
• Jesus extended this: "anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28)
• Islam prescribes severe punishment for adultery in Islamic states
• Both traditions recognise adultery damages trust, families, and society

Homosexuality:

• Traditional Christian teaching views homosexual acts as sinful, based on Leviticus 18:22 and Romans 1:26-27
• The Catholic Church distinguishes between homosexual orientation (not sinful) and homosexual acts (sinful)
• Liberal Christians accept homosexual relationships, emphasising Jesus's message of love and inclusion
• Islam prohibits homosexual relationships based on the Qur'an and Hadith
• Some Muslims distinguish between orientation and practice; others reject this distinction

Worked examples

Example 1: 2-mark question

Question: Give two reasons why Christians believe marriage is important.

Answer: One reason is that marriage provides the proper context for procreation and raising children in a Christian environment. (1 mark)

Another reason is that marriage offers companionship and mutual support, as Genesis states humans are created for relationship. (1 mark)

Examiner guidance: For 2-mark questions, make two distinct points. You don't need to develop them extensively. Make sure each reason is clear and specific to the religion mentioned.

Example 2: 5-mark question

Question: Explain two contrasting Christian beliefs about divorce. In your answer you must refer to a source of wisdom and authority. (5 marks)

Answer: One Christian belief is that divorce is never acceptable because marriage is a permanent sacrament. Roman Catholics believe that marriage is indissoluble, meaning it cannot be broken. This is based on Jesus's teaching in Mark's Gospel: "What God has joined together, let no one separate." Catholics may separate or obtain civil divorce, but they cannot remarry in church while their spouse is alive, as they are still married in God's eyes. (3 marks)

In contrast, many Protestant Christians believe that divorce is acceptable in certain circumstances, even though it is not ideal. They recognise that human sin means marriages sometimes fail, and Jesus's teaching should be balanced with compassion. Protestant churches often permit remarriage, viewing divorce as a concession to human weakness rather than part of God's original plan. (2 marks)

Examiner guidance: For contrasting beliefs, clearly signal the contrast ("In contrast..." or "However..."). Aim for unequal development: 3 marks for the first belief (more developed, includes source of wisdom) and 2 marks for the second. Name specific denominations where relevant.

Example 3: 15-mark evaluation question

Question: "Religious people should not have sex before marriage." Discuss this statement showing that you have considered more than one point of view. (You must refer to religion and belief in your answer.) (15 marks)

Model answer structure:

Agree (Arguments for the statement): Christians and Muslims believe sex before marriage is wrong because it goes against God's design for human relationships. The Bible teaches "flee from sexual immorality" (1 Corinthians 6:18), and Islam considers zina (sex outside marriage) a major sin. Sex is a sacred gift meant to unite husband and wife, and having sex outside this covenant cheapens it.

Religious believers argue that waiting until marriage demonstrates self-control, respect, and commitment. It protects against unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, and emotional harm. Marriage provides the stable, committed relationship that children need.

Disagree (Arguments against the statement): However, some Christians argue that the quality of the relationship matters more than legal status. Liberal Christians believe that committed, loving relationships embody Christian values even without marriage. Society has changed since biblical times, and long engagements or cohabitation before marriage may strengthen relationships.

Humanists would argue that personal choice and consent matter most. If two adults choose to have a sexual relationship and take appropriate precautions, this is a private matter. Many people in the UK have sex before marriage without harm.

Conclusion: Overall, while traditional religious teachings consistently oppose sex before marriage, there is diversity within Christianity. I believe the strongest argument is that religious teachings exist to protect wellbeing, not to restrict freedom arbitrarily. Whether people choose to follow these teachings depends on their personal beliefs and relationship with God. (Reasoned judgment should be personal but supported)

Examiner guidance: Include 4-5 well-developed arguments from different perspectives. Reference religious teachings and sources. Reach a reasoned conclusion that follows from your argument. Maximum 4 marks for one-sided answers.

Common mistakes and how to avoid them

• Confusing Christian denominations: Don't write "Christians believe..." when only Catholics hold that view. Specify: "Roman Catholics believe..." or "Most Protestant churches teach..." Different denominations have genuinely different teachings on divorce, contraception, and homosexuality.

• Ignoring non-religious views: Evaluation questions require "more than one point of view." Include humanist, atheist, or secular perspectives, not just different religious views. A debate between Catholic and Protestant views isn't sufficient.

• Vague references to sources: Don't write "The Bible says marriage is important." Quote or paraphrase specific passages: "Genesis states 'a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife.'" This demonstrates precise knowledge.

• Treating all Muslims identically: Islam has different schools of thought (e.g., Sunni/Shi'a, different madhabs). Where relevant, acknowledge diversity: "Some Muslims believe..." or "Traditional Islamic teaching states..."

• Forgetting to evaluate in 15-mark questions: Listing what different groups believe earns limited marks. You must analyse, compare, and reach a reasoned judgment. Use phrases like "This argument is convincing because..." or "However, this overlooks..."

• Writing narratives instead of explanations: In a question about why Christians oppose adultery, don't retell the story of the Seventh Commandment. Explain the reason: "Adultery breaks the marriage covenant and trust, damaging families and society."

Exam technique for "Relationships and Families"

• Know your command words: "Give" (2 marks) = state briefly; "Explain" (5 marks) = give reasons and develop; "Discuss" (15 marks) = evaluate different views and reach a conclusion.

• Use PEEL for 5-mark questions: Point (state the belief), Evidence (scripture/teaching), Explain (why this matters), Link (connect to the question). Develop one belief more fully (3 marks) than the contrasting belief (2 marks).

• Structure 15-mark answers: Write 4-5 paragraphs including arguments for, arguments against, and a conclusion. Spend roughly 15 minutes. Balance is important but you can agree more with one side if you've genuinely considered both.

• Apply teachings to modern contexts: Don't just quote scripture. Explain how a teaching applies to contemporary issues like same-sex marriage, IVF, or cohabitation. This demonstrates understanding rather than memorisation.

Quick revision summary

Relationships and Families covers religious teachings about marriage, family, sex, and divorce. Christianity and Islam teach that sex belongs within marriage, though views vary by denomination and tradition. Marriage has multiple purposes including procreation, companionship, and legalising sexual relations. Divorce is permitted in most Christian denominations and Islam, though discouraged. Gender roles, contraception, and homosexuality are interpreted differently by traditional and liberal believers. Effective exam answers distinguish between denominations, reference sources of authority, and evaluate different perspectives including non-religious views.