A passage about renewable energy in Germany provides information about solar panels, wind farms and government subsidies. The directed writing task asks candidates to write an article for a school magazine. One candidate writes: 'Germany has lots of solar panels and wind farms and the government gives money to help people buy them and this is good for the environment.' How could this sentence be improved?

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Question

A passage about renewable energy in Germany provides information about solar panels, wind farms and government subsidies. The directed writing task asks candidates to write an article for a school magazine. One candidate writes: 'Germany has lots of solar panels and wind farms and the government gives money to help people buy them and this is good for the environment.' How could this sentence be improved?

Accepted Answer

By breaking it into shorter sentences with varied structures and more precise vocabulary — Award 1 mark for identifying that varied sentence structures and precise vocabulary are markers of higher-band writing. A is incorrect because the sentence already overuses 'and'. C is incorrect because length alone does not improve quality. D is incorrect because directed writing requires use of passage content; removing references would lose marks for Reading.

Answer

By removing all references to the passage to show originality

Answer

By adding more connectives such as 'and' and 'also'

Answer

By making it longer to include more information from the passage

Answer

By breaking it into shorter sentences with varied structures and more precise vocabulary

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