A student writes the following sentence in a narrative composition:

'She walked into the room nervously and looked around anxiously before sitting down carefully.'

How could this sentence be improved?

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Question

A student writes the following sentence in a narrative composition:

'She walked into the room nervously and looked around anxiously before sitting down carefully.'

How could this sentence be improved?

Accepted Answer

By replacing the adverbs with precise verbs and physical actions that show her nervousness — Award 1 mark for understanding 'show, don't tell'. Using precise verbs (e.g., 'crept', 'scanned') and physical details (e.g., 'her fingers twisted the hem of her sleeve') is more effective than adverb overuse. A is incorrect because adding more adverbs compounds the problem. C removes necessary characterisation. D does not address the stylistic weakness.

Answer

By replacing the adverbs with precise verbs and physical actions that show her nervousness

Answer

By changing the sentence to the present tense

Answer

By removing all description of her emotional state

Answer

By adding more adverbs to describe her actions

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